


make it easy, say i never mattered

by doubtthestars



Series: young volcanoes(mind reader fic) [1]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Footy Ficathon, M/M, Mind Reader!AU, Soulmates, i know you must be sick of me writing soulmate aus thanks, not as angsty as i thought it would be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 11:44:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3248441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doubtthestars/pseuds/doubtthestars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>or the one AU where you have your soulmate's voice in your head. </p><p>Jerome is good with emotions but he is terrible with polish. </p><p>Snippets of a life sharing thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	make it easy, say i never mattered

**Author's Note:**

  * For [apollothyme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/apollothyme/gifts).



> I blame you pikachu, but really, the poem was hella and I didnt do it justice.
> 
> Title from Young Volcanoes by FOB

He doesn't exactly remember when it starts. It is barely a whisper when he is a child.

It is all garbled syllables and quick flashes of emotions, like fish escaping the cage of his hands when he hits puberty.

Jerome doesn't understand Czech or Polish or any language along those lines but he gets feelings, he's good with those. 

He spent hours in a library listening to different dialects and trying his hardest to match it up with his spotty recollections and decides it has to be Polish but it doesn't really matter because he's absolute shit with language learning. He pleads in his mind please be better at this than me, speak German, speak German.

It is an ebb and flow of the mind and no one can really explain how it works but Jerome gets goosebumps when he realizes, I am never alone, I have you.

The first time he feels the zing of arousal from him, he is irrationally jealous and moody for the rest of the day. 

But then he understands it's deliberate. 

Jerome doesn't know how he knows, but there must be some sort of feedback that leads his soulmate to taunt him with it like a cat batting at string. 

He believes him to be an asshole because he is overwhelmingly good at sending him heated longing and want. He cannot focus sometimes with the signal and he badly wants to know what he looks like.

There is one night when Jerome can't take it anymore and gives in, imagining lips, hands, and cocks, flitting from one thought to the other, trying to find the right one as he lays in bed, not knowing what to say when he finally comes all over his hand because he doesn't have a name to the voice inside his head.

He apologizes in a way, a soft emotion like petting a cat or hugging comes across after his frustration ends.

Jerome doesn't get any better with giving in but he is also a rising football player with barely enough time to find someone, let alone maintain a relationship. He can wait, he tells himself. 

If this whole soulmate thing pans out, Jerome is going to book a hotel room for a week and call it a honeymoon.

Around mid-March, Jerome always feels an ache of loss for someone he will never get to meet. It is also the first time his nine-year old brain fights the language barrier and understands the concept of 'father'. He wants to hold him each and every time he feels that sweeping sadness. He wants to say those cookie cutter sympathies, but knows it wouldn't be enough because he is in his mind.

He buys flowers every time after that year.

In 2010, he gets a flash of a picture, a mental image of hands at dinner or lunch. Jerome nearly sobs in relief. Bastian gives him a funny look as practice dwindles down. 

"He's in Germany." he says with a certainty that surprises him. Bastian smiles softly but there is a hint of pain in the lines around his eyes. 

Jerome wasn't sure what went down with Podolski, how they ended up in two different cities after making the _connection_ , how Lukas could still go through the motions with a girl that wasn't his soulmate. 

It didn't make any sense to him. They were just fighting the inevitable. Why get hung up on a label when no one could dispute the link between them.

He gets better at sending pictures through the bond than Robert is and that was an interesting exercise in itself. 

Robert is shit at images, he sends them randomly and they go by quickly like he can't concentrate hard enough to send it properly and Jerome is tickled by it because he is finally close enough after all this waiting. 

During a international friendly he gets a crystal clear view of a pitch and his heart stops, because what if he is there, what if he is in the stands or playing against him? Jerome sends the equivalent of a question probably with a side of nerves, but doesn't get a response.

He chalks it up to a bad connection time.

Robert is silent for most of that month and Jerome loses his cool more than once on the field. Philipp pulls him aside.

"Whatever is happening, stop letting it affect your game. I can't warn you again."

Jerome prods at the bond, going through every visualization trick he's ever read, but gets nothing in return. He pulls himself together because it is his first season with Bayern and he can't be boxed into the hot-headed defender role just yet. Bastian is understanding and runs interference with Lahm when Jerome is too sleep-deprived to focus, too worried that he's done something wrong.

Robert's voice crashes into him two weeks before winter break. He sprints to the bathroom, leaving David without an explanation. 

He uses all the practice from the last couple of weeks to bombard him with relief and he gets back a shaky sorry in German. He gets books and a weird stock image looking teacher and the German flag and Jerome laughs and laughs locked in a bathroom stall, not caring for the consequences because his soulmate didn't hate him.

The snatches of thoughts were still in a mixture of polish and german but Robert tried his best. 

It was close to April when he got double-vision and stumbled on the tunnel steps. He saw the same thing from two different angles and he _knew_ Jerome thought of the roster and almost smacked himself because of course, of course.

He shakes Robert Lewandowski's hand before the game starts and smiles when he gets a quiet hallo in his mind.


End file.
